Remember that as friends, lovers, colleagues, family members, and neighbors we are also artists. When we talk about others, we paint their picture to our audience. Choose your words wisely.
A man might talk to a friend about his new girlfriend and say, “She rubs my back for me” or he might say, “I make her rub my back.” A person’s words are not always a true reflection of reality. If the audience hears the first sentence, they might think that the girlfriend is sweet and willingly rubbing her boyfriend’s back. The second sentence implies that the girlfriend may not necessarily enjoy rubbing her boyfriend’s back or that she is somehow subservient to her mate. Because the audience is not directly acquainted with “the girlfriend,” the audience begins to form an opinion about her. Be careful of the impressions that you create when talking about a third-party who is not there to speak for or defend themselves.
Whenever I hear a woman complaining about how “crazy” her ex is, it makes me wonder what his side of the story is. Did she make him crazy? Was he always crazy? It takes two to tango. I think the same exact thing when men talk about how nuts their ex-girlfriends are. I’m like, “Yeah but what did you do to her?” Keep in mind that the way that a person talks about their ex sometimes says more about their character than that of their ex. Does this person speak about their ex in a kind, careful, diplomatic way? Or are they quick to dehumanize, insult and break down their previous partner? These kinds of things are very telling. Also remember that if you are dating someone who trashes their ex, they will most likely repeat the same behavior with you.
Keep shit in perspective and don’t forget to read between the lines.