My First & LAST Tinder Date

When I moved to a new area earlier this year, I wasn’t quite sure how to meet new people so I downloaded Tinder. Given the geographic area, my matches were ‘whatever’ at best but I was lonely. One night after a brief conversation, this guy asked if I wanted to meet at a place called Sunset Bar & Grille. The name sounded decent… plus they put an E on the end of “grill” so I figured it had to be an okay spot. I get ready and drive up to the place. Immediately I am sketched out because there’s a motel next door that rents rooms by the hour. In the parking lot of the illustrious Sunset Bar & Grille there was a sleazy adult bookstore. My first reaction was like, “Turn off your phone and bail NOW,” but unfortunately my Tinder date had seen me pull up and he waved. I cursed under my breath but waved back and gave a fake, cheery “hiiii.” I figured I’d be polite and have one drink. Maybe give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn’t know the area very well either.

Inside, things didn’t improve. Our conversation was lacking. He did NOT understand my wit or sense of humor. I found him to be bland and his jokes lacked the punch he so obviously thought they possessed. There was zero chemistry on my end. I never gave him any indication of being interested. I commented that I would usually never go to a place like this and he was like, “Ohhh, someone’s fancy.” Nah, dawg, someone just has standards.

After my one Stella Artois, thank god it came from a bottle coz their glasses looked filthy, I faked a yawn and said I was going to head home. He offered that his house was right up the street but that he was sharing a one-bedroom with his dad who didn’t mind if he had guests. Weird and no thanks. I still never gave any indication of interest. As I was about to get in my car, dude leans in and tries to kiss me. His eyes glazed over like a shark about to embark on a feeding frenzy. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said and basically facepalmed him. “I don’t feel any chemistry with you. Sorry,” I said bluntly, then got in my car and dipped out of that parking lot so fast.

Never EVER will I try to meet someone online again like that. It never works out.

 

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